How Dumb Does One Have to Be in Order to Be a Neoconfederate?

Pretty dumb, apparently.

Brooks Simpson has highlighted this on his blog already.

Over at The Gift That Keeps On Giving, one erstwhile member posted this item from another neoconfederate genius.


Notice the comment at the top from Mr. Miller:  “I realize this will be explained away as either a free man, or one of Mary’s father’s borrowed slaves.”

Brooks reproduced the Census schedule on his blog.


Note the very top.  “Schedule 1.–Free Inhabitants … ”  So this could not possibly list any slaves, as every person on the page is a free person.  Additionally, the bottom shows that every person on the page is either a white male or a white female, so it could not possibly list any free blacks.  Lincoln’s servant, as Brooks shows us, is an 18-year-old woman of Irish descent named Mary Johnson.  All it takes to know this is to look at the page that was provided and then Google “Lincoln Servant M. Johnson” to find this page.  One doesn’t need to be proficient at research, one only has to have an IQ above the outside temperature of Washington, DC in the winter.

Let’s take a look at the comments.


One person asks, “Does Lincoln shoe up in the Slave Schedule part of the census as owning slaves?”  When faced with the fact that there is no such schedule for Illinois, this person doesn’t consider the reason for that is that Illinois was a free state and had no slaves.  Once again, no special research talent is needed.  All that’s needed is some basic knowledge.  This person and Mr. Miller think it’s “convenient” instead of thinking it should be obvious because Illinois was a free state and had no slaves.  Next, Mr. Miller makes the cryptic claim, “Years past Grant’s profit from slave labor was subdued.”  Since they were talking about the census, perhaps he’s talking about keeping information off the census.  Apparently there was some type of conspiracy reaching back to the Founding Fathers to only have a census every ten years so that any profit US Grant would have from slave labor in the short time he lived in Missouri at White Haven would be “subdued,” whatever he means by that.  Additionally, the conspiracy spread to the Census Bureau which decided not to ask how much profit a person received from slave labor in the census.

So we see two of the distinguishing characteristics of neoconfederates:  lack of basic intelligence and lack of basic historical knowledge.



  1. In their haste to re-configure history, they ignore it.

  2. Alas, George let me comment once, twice, then blocked me. Oh well. Also, I had a long exchange with Cauldwell/Mr. History/Colleen on my blog. Extraordinarily tedious. I can see now why you don’t give him more than the time of day.

  3. […] decades. I am not making this up. Al Mackey offers a reasonable interpretation of the affair here. Stupidity or malice? I lean more toward the former, but the two come together often […]

  4. […] claiming that census records showed that Abraham Lincoln owned a slave in Springfield in 1860. Other blogs soon picked this up, offering even more detailed discussion of the evidence in […]

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